I was walking through the French Quarter several years ago when a curled up, haunting old woman cringed away from me and rasped that I ‘had the poltergeist’. There may have been cocktails involved, but I now conclude that this poltergeist, the specter on my shoulder is not a ‘man problem’ per se, but rather the illusions that lead me down paths risky to the heart.
Women who are smart, successful and seemingly independent often have an exceptional sense of tenacity, strong work ethic and overachieving spirit. These characteristic served me well in college, graduate school and my professional realm. When we apply these characteristics to projects of the heart we sometimes lose sight of when to cut our losses – giving up without winning is not a part of our experience.
I cannot lay the blame upon men for being dishonest. In fact, most of them through word or action do tell us exactly who they are. I am the person who looks at an old, broken down home and sees the infinite possibilities. My extraordinary optimism in the human spirit leads me to look at a man who tells me who he is, while seeing something entirely different.
I think it is time to throw some water on this poltergeist with an experiment. I still believe in love, and I feel it will find me. On this journey however, I am going to listen to exactly who men tell me they are and I will make a decision based on that.
I shall embrace the art of giving up until someone tells me that who they are is worth fighting for…cut and run!